Love on the Outskirts of Town Page 11

  The conversation shifted to the pros and cons of a smaller town. Meredith tsked about the school being combined elementary and secondary, but since Emily was only three, that hardly seemed like a driving decision-making factor.

  “And really, if I want to buy a house, I need to look outside the bigger towns,” she murmured, trying not to feel weird about what that meant.

  She was officially a low-income single parent. That came with limitations that would affect her daughter. But the rundown house in a small town was only phase one in Natasha’s Big Dream Plan. Maybe by the time it mattered what kind of school Emily went to, they’d live somewhere else.

  “What are you thinking now?” Meredith asked.

  “There’s not enough parking.” Natasha wriggled her nose as she looked at the single car driveway. “Which isn’t a problem in the summer, because street parking is plentiful. But in the winter, when the snowbanks are sky-high and crazy wide…”

  “Is that a deal breaker?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. Really, the long-term value in this property would be as a flip.” Which made her stomach do exactly that because the risk was enormous. She pressed her hand to her belly. “Renting out those units to tourists would ease things significantly. At least in the summer.”

  Her head was already spinning with numbers—and they didn’t all add up. It would take months to get the units rentable. She wasn’t sure she had enough savings to put a down payment on the house and float the necessary renovations, too. That conclusion didn’t help the stomach gymnastics at all.

  “Come on, let’s keep walking and see what you can offer big city folk who are looking for a country getaway.”

  They strolled up to the main drag, where they turned toward the centre of town. It took just a few minutes to pass the coffee shop, a grocery store, a gas station, all before hitting the main shopping strip—that was exactly one block long.

  But it had everything a tourist might want. An outfitters, a dollar store, a bank, and a couple of restaurants. It even had a thrift store, which made her so happy because the one in Port Elgin had been a lifesaver over the last three years.

  And then right when her guard was all the way down, she spotted Matt Foster, hopping out of a bright blue pickup truck in front of said bank. Damn it. She’d used up her Matt-anticipation earlier on the red herring ambulance.

  She stumbled to a stop and Meredith turned around. “What’s wrong?”

  Which clearly was a clarion call for a first responder, even across a street, because Matt stopped and looked across at them.

  Tasha didn’t move.

  Neither did he.

  Meredith took a slow, curious turn and followed Natasha’s gaze, then twisted back, questions and amusement written all over her face. Tasha glared at her sister, who continued her streak for the day of totally ignoring important, pointed looks. Mer’s eyebrows hit the sky and she pivoted sharply again. Matt grinned and waved before strolling slowly up the stairs of the bank.

  “Stop looking at him,” Tasha said, yanking on her sister’s arm. “You’re a married woman.”

  “And you are not. Who is that?”

  “That’s…Matt.”

  “Matt? The guy who was really nice to Emily? Why didn’t you mention he looked like that?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  Meredith gasped. “He doesn’t look complicated. He looks like a really good idea.”

  No kidding. “He’s…”

  “He’s what?”

  “Jake’s brother.” Natasha lowered her voice and let all the secrets spill out. “His name is Matt Foster, and I slept with his older brother, and then really wanted him to be Emily’s dad. Okay? So it’s complicated. Because he is also, in fact, really nice. Yeah.”

  Meredith stared at her. Then she took a deep breath. “Okay, you need time to wrap your head around how to make it work. I get that. That’ll make for awkward family dinners, but I’m thinking he’s worth it.”

  Tasha did not like how her sister said that. It was indecent. “Based on what, exactly?”

  “Six-foot-three-inches of hold-you-against-the-wall sex.”

  “Shut. Up.”

  Meredith laughed. “Tell me you’re not imagining that right now.”

  “I’m not speaking to you. Let’s head back to the car.”

  “He looks like he could toss you over his shoulder and hike up a mountain.” Meredith paused. “Where you’d then find a cabin to have monkey sex in.”

  “I think you and Dan need a weekend getaway without the kids. Someplace with walls and maybe a sex swing.”

  “We totally do,” Mer sighed. “I miss sex.”

  Natasha gave her an alarmed look. “How long has it been?”

  Her sister screwed up her face. “I don’t know. Like…three weeks, maybe?”

  “Oh, screw right off. It’s been four years for me, so you can take your three weeks and shove them where the sun don’t shine.”

  At least her sister had the good grace to blush at that.

  Tasha sighed. “How about I take all three kids to a movie on Monday night?”

  Meredith’s face lit up. “That would be amazing.”

  And now she was a sex agent for her sister, with little chance of that being reciprocated any time in the near future. She was a martyr to the cause. “I really need the realtor to call right now and distract your dirty mind, thank you very much.”

  “Come on, I’m having so much fun. We’re sister bonding.”

  “You were there when Emily was born. I almost broke your hand. I think we’ve bonded enough for life.”

  Meredith slung an arm around her shoulders. “I’m going to miss you so much when we move, you know that?”

  Suddenly it was hard for Natasha to swallow. “Yeah.” She stopped her trundle across town and leaned into her big sister. “I’m going to miss you too, you pervert.”

  It was dinnertime before they were back in Port Elgin. Meredith didn’t bring up Matt again on the drive, although it was clear she wanted to. They picked up pizza on their way into town and rescued Tasha’s brother-in-law from a three-kid pile-on by walking in the door with everyone’s favourite.

  “How did it go?” Dan asked, wrapping his arms around Meredith.

  Tasha rocked back on her heels. “Eh. It went. I’ll keep looking a little closer to home.”

  “Sorry it wasn’t perfect.” He clapped her on the shoulder.

  Oh, but it is perfect. That’s the problem. She wanted things she really shouldn’t have. A perfect house she just couldn’t quite afford. A perfect man she couldn’t quite handle.

  None of that mattered, though. She had Emily, who was clinging to her leg. She looked down at her daughter, more perfect than anything else. “Hello, baby.”

  Emily climbed up and held out her sweet little arms for a hug. “Miss you, Mommy.”

  “Always. Shall we cuddle while we eat pizza? Because Mommy needs to go to work soon.”

  “Okay.” So simple. So sweet.

  She soaked up the love, and by the time she needed to leave, Emily was ready to go and play with her cousins anyway. Tasha said a small prayer of thanks for the easy goodbye on a day when they hadn’t spent much time together. Then she headed to work, laptop tucked into her bag just in case she had some downtime to search real estate listings.

  But it was a busy night, and she didn’t have a chance to check her phone, let alone daydream about house stuff. By the time her first break rolled around, which she took in Malcolm’s office, curled up with a cup of coffee, she couldn’t even look at her notebook.

  “Tired?” her boss asked her.

  “Mmm.” She closed her eyes. She liked working at Bailey’s. If she found a babysitter who could take Emily overnight, maybe she could keep everything exactly as it was. She could rent an apartment and keep working here, and nothing had to change.

  Her phone vibrated, then again a minute later.

  Malcolm cleared his throat. “Are you g
oing to check your messages?”

  She sighed. “Shh, I’m sleeping.”

  “Emily wore you out today, huh?”

  “No, my sister and I went on a bit of a road trip.”

  “Fun.”

  “Yeah.” She opened her eyes and tugged her phone out of her pocket.

  Her cheeks immediately heated up. Matt’s name was on the screen.

  She glanced up, but Malcolm had gone back to his ordering.

  Hiding behind her mug of coffee, she clicked into the messages. There were two of them.

  Matt: It was nice to see you today.

  Matt: Even if it was from a distance.

  She didn't know how to reply to that. She finally settled on the truth.

  Natasha: Same. Hi.

  Matt: Was that your sister?

  Natasha: Yep.

  Matt: You look alike.

  Natasha: LOL thanks. We like to pretend we’re twins, but she’s older and smarter.

  Matt: You’re pretty smart.

  That shouldn’t make her feel giddy. Of course, she shouldn’t be texting with him, either.

  Natasha: I need to get back to work. Busy night.

  Matt: K. I’m working tonight, too.

  She watched bubbles appear on her screen as he typed something else. But instead of a text, the next message was a photo: Matt, leaning against a concrete wall, the dark blue collar of his paramedic uniform at the bottom of the frame. He was smiling enough that the corners of his eyes crinkled.

  It was an exceptionally good-looking selfie. Of course it was. Of course he had good selfie game.

  Meanwhile, she was curled up in a whiny ball in her boss’s messy office.

  “I’m just going to step outside for some fresh air before I get back to work,” she muttered, not that Malcolm cared about the excuse. He didn’t even look up as she unkinked her limbs and stood up.

  Except outside was dark now, so that wouldn’t be good.

  The washroom had terrible lighting, and also, a selfie in the bathroom was painfully cliched.

  She turned in a slow circle in the hallway, irrational panic rising inside her.

  She wanted to send a picture back, a quick, oh-yeah-this-is-how-I-totally-look-right-now-without-effort kind of selfie, but it had to be a good one.

  Finally, she turned her camera on and held up her phone. She felt ridiculous all of a sudden, even though she took selfies all the time, but they were with a three-year-old.

  For this, she needed to look hot.

  Somehow this picture needed to say, Please come and see me tomorrow night.

  It took three tries for her smile to look natural, another two to get one where her eyes were open just the right amount.

  Fucking hell, flirting was complicated all of a sudden. When did that happen?

  Fingers shaking, she hit send.

  His reply was almost instantaneous.

  Matt: You’re beautiful.

  What was she supposed to do with that?

  Swoon, clearly.

  Matt: I’ll let you get back to work now. See you tomorrow night. I’ll be the guy at the end of the bar practicing pick-up lines on the pretty bartender.

  She couldn’t wait. Any denial about how he made her feel was abandoned now.

  The next question was, how could she juggle that with what she’d done in the past?

  Chapter Eleven

  The weekend brought a cold snap, and the leaves started falling. Meredith and Dan took the kids outside to rake a big pile, and Natasha threw herself into cleaning the main floor so she could pretend she wasn’t excited about seeing Matt that night.

  She was just finishing the kitchen when David called.

  “We’d like to have Emily visit next weekend for Thanksgiving,” he said, ruining her good mood.

  “There’s so much to unpack about that statement,” she said, closing her eyes. “Like, who is we and what do you mean by visit? That’s just a week away, and we already have plans. Do you mean overnight?”

  He’d never had Emily overnight. And it had been a year since he’d taken her for any one-on-one time at all.

  “I would like to have Emily for part of the holiday weekend, is that better?”

  “Changing the phrasing doesn’t erase my questions about the first version of it.” She took a deep breath. “I think it’s an abrupt change to go from infrequent and limited contact to overnights. Is that something we can work up to?” She bit her tongue to keep from adding, Like, maybe over a decade?

  He sighed in frustration. “The distance makes that a problem.”

  “Well…” She screwed up her face, hating what was about to come out of her mouth next. “How about you come here for Thanksgiving?”

  “To your sister’s house?”

  “Yep.” And they wouldn’t talk about the fact that she was moving out. That was strictly on a need-to-know basis, and right now, David was up to something, which meant he definitely did not need to know. Yet.

  “Could I bring someone?”

  Ah, the mysterious other part of the aforementioned we. She pantomimed crushing something in the air—her phone, his neck, she wasn’t sure which would be better—and made another face before replying as sweetly as she could, “Of course, bring a date. If there’s someone who is going to be spending time with Emily, it would be great for us all to get to know each other.”

  It was a miracle she didn’t gag on the kindness.

  Another miracle was David ending the call after a gruff thanks.

  She sighed and went outside. “Hey.”

  “What’s up?” her sister asked.

  “So…David is coming here for Thanksgiving. With a still-unnamed girlfriend. If it’s okay with you, we’ve got an extra two for dinner.”

  “Of course.”

  From the other side of the leaf pile, Dan muttered something less charitable, which made Tasha laugh a little. “Well, it could be worse. He wanted to take Emily for the weekend.”

  “No!”

  “Yes.”

  “Jackass.”

  “I know. I told him that was too much of an abrupt shift, and he accepted that. For now. But he won’t be put off forever. At least this way, I’ll know the girlfriend before she has a sleepover with my daughter.” She grabbed another big armful of leaves and savagely shoved them into the bag. “Argh.”

  Emily ran over, and Dan scooped her up. “Want to go to the park?” He glanced at Tasha. “Let’s leave your mommy and Aunt Mer to finish with the leaves, okay?”

  “Okay.” Emily spun around. “Nollie! We can go to the park!”

  Tasha held it in until the kids were gone, then the hot, angry tears fell. Meredith dragged her inside, away from the leaves that didn’t matter, and poured them each a glass of whiskey.

  “No tea?” Tasha asked as she tossed back the drink.

  “Sometimes tea, sometimes the hard stuff. It’s an expert call.”

  “You called it right.” She groaned. “Sometimes I hate him. And sometimes I don’t care. I wish I didn’t care more, and hated less, because hate feels suspiciously like caring, you know?”

  “I know.”

  “I really don’t care that he has a girlfriend.” Much. She didn’t care much. God, she was pathetic.

  “But you care that someone else can get him to be invested in his kid when you couldn’t.”

  “Ouch.” Tasha scowled at her sister. “You wound me. Accurately, but still.”

  Meredith refilled their glasses. “Can I ask you a terribly personal question?”

  “When have you ever held back before?”

  She got a raspberry for that. “What’s really going on with you and Matt Foster?”

  “I don’t know.” She took a deep breath. “He’s coming to the bar tonight.”

  Her sister’s eyebrows hit the roof. “Yeah?”

  She could feel a tentative smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Yeah. I warned him I’ll be working, and he promised to be a good customer. I mean, I’ve
warned him about all sorts of things, and he knows we can’t really be more than friends, but…”

  Meredith snorted. “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

  “I don’t want to rush into anything. Actually, I can’t rush into anything.”

  “Regrets,” her sister said, her voice softening. “That’s what you were thinking about when you met him.”

  “What?”

  “The night you told me about him—before I knew he looked like that, before I knew who he was. You said you met a nice guy, but you were really sad, too. You said you were trying not to dwell on regret.”

  “I guess so, yeah. Kind of a constant theme in my life.” She scowled as she picked up her glass. “Obviously, David wasn’t a mistake, regardless of how our relationship was broken, because he gave me Emily. But Jake was entirely avoidable and completely regrettable. He didn’t want me when he slept with me. He was deep in grief, I was a warm body, and we both knew it. But then I made it awkward and uncomfortable, and now, four years later, I’ve met this awesome guy. Hot, kind, funny… but it’s a non-starter because I banged his brother once and then clung for dear life when I found out I was pregnant with a deadbeat’s kid.”

  “Hey, nothing wrong with a pregnant woman clinging to anyone she can find.”

  Natasha shook her head. “Nope. Lots wrong with that. That’s how hopes get dashed.”

  They sat together in silence and finished their drinks, then headed back out to the leaf pile.

  “It’s possible that buying a house might be a bigger mistake than making a fool of myself over Jake,” Tasha said in a falsely bright voice. “So there’s that.”

  “Stop it, that’s not true.”

  “You don’t think it’s a mistake to tie everything I have in real estate I probably won’t be able to unload?”

  Her sister laughed. “No.”

  “You sound so confident.”

  “I am. I have confidence in you and your Big Dream Plan.”

  “Why?” Her sister’s steady belief was much stronger than her own.

  Meredith leaned on her rake and gave Tasha a serious stare. “Because I don't think you make mistakes. I think you live life to the fullest and that sometimes means you bump into the jagged edges. And Jake was particularly pointy, maybe. Sharp enough to cut you.”