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  He turned away from her, but returned a few seconds later. His face was max-relaxed and he was grinning. “You know. Like, whoa.”

  She blinked at him. “Like, whoa?”

  “Don’t make me use more words than that right now, babe. Brain fried.”

  “Oh.”

  “Phenomenal?” He winked at her. “Come here.”

  She snuggled into his side. “Yeah. Phenomenal.”

  They lay like that together for a while, her in just a tank top, him still mostly dressed, but at some point he’d taken off his shoes. He seemed to get his faculties back a beat before hers, because he shifted onto his side and kissed her forehead gently. “So you had a good birthday?”

  “I did.” She smiled up at him. “Better now, it’s like a birthday week.”

  “Good. And the surprise was okay? I wasn’t sure I’d be able to swing the flights until this morning. Everyone else flew direct, but I was able to beg off and go commercial.”

  “When is your flight home?”

  “Tonight at ten.” He traced the curve of her naked hip. “I’ve gotta work tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” She watched silently as he grabbed his phone and set an alarm.

  “You said you were tired…” He looked at her, searching her face. “Is this okay? A nap? I’m working on a two-week sleep deficit, so…”

  She nodded, trying to ignore the lump in her throat. Rest would be good for a bunch of reasons. “Let’s nap.”

  He wrapped her tight in his arms, and despite her confusion about falling so hard, so fast, she drifted off, listening to his heartbeat.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jason was really starting to like Julie’s shower, although he wasn’t sure she liked it right now. Ever since he’d arrived—no, ever since the end of the out-of-this-world sex—she’d been near silent, holding herself in check.

  It wasn’t hard to read her, really. She had rocked written all over her.

  He felt the same way.

  He washed her hair, and when she still didn’t say anything, he made slow, sweet love to her until her cries echoed through the bathroom. It wasn’t enough, but it was what they had in the few hours they had together.

  After they dried each other off, he sat on her bed and watched her get dressed. Short, quick movements. She wanted to drive him to the airport, and he wanted that, too.

  As much time together as possible.

  “You can come visit me, any time. Even if I’m working,” he said, his voice surprising them both in the silence of her room. “I mean, I know that’s not a great offer, but…”

  “I’ll come.” She gave him a tight smile. “Soon.”

  He selfishly hoped her “soon” meant more than his did. Than his could.

  He stood and Julie handed him his t-shirt, then held out his wrinkled blue oxford. He slid his arms into it, then let her button him up.

  Any excuse to touch each other.

  She glanced at her bedside clock. He knew the feeling, he kept checking his phone, always aware of the time. Their countdown to leaving for the airport, each minute confirming their unspoken agreement not to discuss the feelings ricocheting all over the room.

  The feelings that imprinted on him with each glance, each touch, each whisper.

  “Ready?” she finally asked.

  Never, he wanted to say. But that wasn’t his right. Not yet.

  The people of San Francisco had not gotten the memo that Julie’s life had tipped sideways. Traffic had been kind of crazy on the drive to the airport, and once they parked, it was non-stop crowds right up to the security gate. She’d hoped to make the last few moments together as private as possible, but it looked like they were going to say goodbye in the middle of a throng of strangers. Jason looped his rucksack over his far arm and tucked her close to his body.

  “You’ll let me know about coming down to San Diego?” he asked, breaking the silence again. It was the only conversation they’d managed to have.

  Sex, they’d had twice. She was still vibrating from the three amazing orgasms. So why was it so hard to talk right now?

  She licked her lips and forced a smile. “As soon as I get a chance to push some days off around, definitely.”

  “Can I make a bold suggestion?”

  “Maybe.” This smile was the real deal.

  “It doesn’t need to be…I mean, don’t wait until you get a big block of time. I’ll take whatever I can get. And I’ll get back up here real soon, too.”

  She got it, she really did. The desire to spend every minute of free time with him was overwhelming. But they couldn’t let their passion subsume everything else in their lives. ”Yeah. Within reason, of course.”

  “Reason is overrated.” He slid his hand along her jaw, a quiet groan slipping out of him as he looked at her. She almost didn’t hear it in the noise swirling around them. “Don’t go all sensible on me, Jules.”

  She laughed, but his face was dead serious. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m trying to find a way to tell you just how much I care about you.” He rolled his lower lip between his teeth. “And not doing a good job, clearly.”

  “I care about you, too.” So much her chest ached at just saying goodbye. “But I want to be smart about this.”

  He swore under his breath at the same moment his phone beeped, reminding them of the time. Julie took a deep breath and stretched her neck first to the left, then to the right. This didn’t need to be a big deal. He had a flight to catch and nipping this strange conversation in the bud was probably a good idea.

  “Never mind,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his neck for a second before kissing his jaw. “Let’s get you on that plane.”

  “Jules…”

  “Don’t. It’s not a big deal.”

  His brows pinched together and his jaw twitched, but he didn’t say anything. He just wrapped his solid arms around her, emanating heat and worry and protection and… She didn’t want to think the L word, because it was way too soon, but he’d said he cared.

  And she believed him, right to her core, had as soon as he’d said it. But now, being held tight in his concerned embrace, she felt it sinking into her skin, flowing through her.

  “I’m —going to miss you…” she whispered, and she saw that twitch in his jaw again, just for a second, before her next words were cut off, lost against his mouth as he kissed her hard and fast. He swayed them back and forth. His lips nipped at hers again and again in short, needy bursts separated by puffs of hot breath, and then he hauled her bodily against him with a groan and the kiss got deeper and impossibly more desperate.

  “I love you, Jules,” he said after he lowered her to the ground. “It felt like a gift, meeting you when I did, and every time we talk, this connection gets crazier. I’ve needed you from that first night, and not for a night or a weekend. I. Need. You. However I can get you. Wherever I can get you. And I didn’t want to scare you away, so I tried to keep this inside, but all those assholes you dated? They’re in the past. I’m not one of them. And as insane as this sounds, you don’t need to play it safe with me. And now isn’t really the time or place to making grand declarations, so forget most of this.” He took a ragged breath and grinned at her. “But don’t forget that I love you. Okay? Hold that tight until we’re together again.”

  She nodded dumbly, her breath hitching in her chest. “You can’t scare me away. I need you, too.”

  “You’re such a gorgeous liar,” he said against her lips as he moved in for another quick kiss. In all her time as a flight attendant, Julie had never done this kind of over the top goodbye in an airport.

  She’d been missing out. It was kind of fun to be loved this much. “What am I lying about?”

  He stepped back half a step and took her hands in his. “I scare you a little bit. You think I’m going to secretly want to turn you into June Cleaver.”

  “Maybe secretly I wouldn’t mind that, and I’m scared you don’t want to
.”

  He gave her a surprised look. “Yeah?”

  A fluttery, crazy feeling exploded in her chest. “Yeah.”

  He pulled her close and brushed his lips along her earlobe. “I love you.”

  She made a sound, like a meep or something. It wasn’t the same three words right back, which should have been what came out of her mouth.

  He laughed.

  She looked at the ground.

  “Jules, look at me.”

  “Don’t want to,” she said, her voice shaky. “I’ll start crying.”

  “Jules.”

  She stared intently at his shoes. “You have to go.”

  “Don’t want to.”

  “Don’t steal my lines.”

  He chuckled and nudged her chin up with the knuckle of his index finger. “I’ll miss you like crazy.”

  “I love you,” she blurted out, and then the tears slipped out. Just two of them, but damn it, she didn’t want to make a scene.

  He winked at her. “I’m getting on a jet plane. In an hour and a half, I’m going to land and send you a text reminding you about the blazing hot sex we had today.”

  She laughed out loud at that and he let out an exaggerated sigh of relief. Then he swiped one last quick kiss, squeezed her hand, and disappeared through the security doors.

  She pulled out her phone.

  Julie: This afternoon was okay.

  His response came before she got back to the car.

  Jason: Only okay? Clearly I need to step up my game. Prepare yourself.

  She giggled and fanned herself with her hand. She was prepared all right. Being kissed by a SEAL had done something strange and wonderful to her, and she was more than ready to see where their love took them.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “This is highly unorthodox,” Julie whispered to her fiancé.

  Jason just shrugged and gave her a smile. “Since when have I ever cared about rules?”

  “All the time. You live by a highly structured set of rules, actually, steeped in tradition. Not dissimilar to the long held idea that the groom shouldn’t see the wedding dress before the big day.”

  “But I like to watch you try stuff on.”

  That he did. And it wasn’t like his outfit would be a surprise—he was getting married in his dress blues. She’d only seen him in them once before, and the memory was enough to melt her.

  “Okay. But…remember, these are just samples. The sizes are going to be wrong, and I might look like an elephant in some of them.” It wasn’t like she was a standard size six.

  “You are gorgeous.”

  “That doesn’t change the laws of physics and limitations of lace.”

  “Now you’re just stalling.” He flicked his gaze up to the bridal salon sign above them. “Let’s go in.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Do you want to get married in that blue strapless dress you bought last year? Because I have very fond memories of stripping you out of that after your friend’s wedding…”

  She wasn’t that brave. Or that modern. “No. Right. Fine. Let’s do this.”

  “You gotta move your feet, babe.” He chuckled and slid his hand to the small of her back, urging her forward. “This is why I had to come along.”

  It was true. In every other facet of her life, Julie was confident and enthusiastic. But there was something about wedding planning that had her totally freaked out. A little part of her didn’t quite believe this was really her life. After five months of long-distance dating, Jason had popped the question—accidentally—via email.

  The least romantic proposal ever, but when he realized what he’d done, he’d driven through the night to show up at her house with breakfast and a diamond ring he’d apparently been carrying for seven weeks.

  The bell chimed as they stepped inside and a tiny, birdlike woman swept toward them. “Hello,” she said, a gracious smile brightening her face. “Welcome to Anastasia’s.”

  “Thank you.” Julie took a deep breath. “I’m looking for a wedding dress.”

  “Then you’ve come to the right place! My name is Hannah. Can I get you something to drink while you tell me about the wedding?”

  Two cups of tea and thirty minutes of grilling later, Hannah was guiding Julie into a change room. Jason picked up a magazine and gave her an amused smile.

  “I’ll be back with the first few dresses in a minute,” Hannah said, already disappearing down the back hallway.

  Julie set her purse down on the lounge chair and took a deep breath. Her hands shook, and she pressed them to her hips. He loves you so much, she told herself. And he really did. She carried a copy of his email proposal in her purse to remind herself how comfortable and right he obviously thought this was.

  From: Jason Steyner

  To: Julie Collins

  Subject: RE: this weekend

  * * *

  That sounds good. And maybe we could look at some of the wineries up there, too. I bet a lot of my friends would like to get away for a weekend. A wedding is a good excuse.

  From: Julie Collins

  To: Jason Steyner

  Subject: RE: RE: this weekend

  * * *

  …What?

  From: Jason Steyner

  To: Julie Collins

  Subject: RE: RE: RE: this weekend

  * * *

  What? Nothing. I love you.

  From: Julie Collins

  To: Jason Steyner

  Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: this weekend

  * * *

  I love you too.

  She traced her finger over the worn paper. Okay, she could do this. She carefully folded the note back up, tucked it back in her purse, and slipped out of her sundress.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jason wasn’t usually afraid of anything. He could lead men into a war zone or through a jungle. Stage a mock attack on the president’s bunker and withstand torture training.

  Seriously, waterboarding didn’t scare him.

  But when, on a hot September evening, he finished working out with some of his teammates and found his phone showing three missed calls from the winery where he was supposed to be getting married in two months’ time, and another three from his fiancé, Julie…cold, clammy fear crawled up his spine.

  “This can’t be good,” he muttered under his breath.

  “What is it?” Trick Novak opened his locker and pulled out a towel.

  “I don’t know. The wedding venue.”

  “Should’ve eloped,” Trick called from behind him.

  Yeah, yeah. Most of his buddies had done the quiet wedding thing. A week in Hawaii or a trip to city hall.

  But Jason was only doing this once. And Julie was going to make the most beautiful bride ever. He wanted to exchange vows with her in front of everyone they knew. She’d been a bridesmaid so many times, a cousin and a friend on the fringes of the celebration. He wanted her to be the center of attention in the biggest way possible on the day they got married.

  He hit dial on his phone as soon as he found a quiet spot in the hallway.

  Julie answered right away. “Oh, thank God, you’re done working out. Jason, it’s a disaster.” Her voice pitched up at the end, getting high and fluttery like she was going to start crying.

  He winced. “Jules, take a deep breath.”

  “Can’t. Too busy freaking out.”

  He laughed at her attempt at a joke, but he had a serious concern she wasn’t kidding. “What happened?”

  “The winery burned down. The reception hall is gone.” The last word dissolved into a groan. “I don’t know what we’re going to do. The wedding…we’ll have to…” She sniffled, rapidly cycling through a whole bunch of emotions. From freaking out to being sad, mourning the loss of the wedding she’d planned to the last detail.

  He needed to get home, stat. “Okay, hang tight. I’ll be there in ten minutes, tops. Fifteen if you want me to stop and pick up wine.” Another moan, and he winced. That was the wrong
thing to offer, given the circumstances. “Tequila?”

  “Do we have any ice?”

  “And ice.”

  “And limes…”

  “Everything you need for a margarita, babe.” He let out a sigh. “We’ll figure out a new plan. Promise.”

  He jogged back into the locker room and gathered up his stuff.

  Julie paced back and forth, staring at the binder open on the coffee table. In her shaking hands, she had a notepad and a pen, ready—sort of—to make a new to-do list.

  They needed a new venue, obviously.

  And everyone would need to be notified…she’d need to order new invitations. And what if the new location wasn’t a winery? Would the corkscrew favors still make sense? Maybe they should have gone with the breath mint tins after all.

  They still could.

  Then she’d have a hundred corkscrews, though. Maybe she could find a place to donate them…

  Jason’s key turned in the lock, and she ran to the door to let him in.

  “Hey,” he said as he leaned over an overflowing paper bag to give her a quick kiss. “You still freaking out?”

  She nodded quickly. “So much.”

  “Shitty news, I’m sorry. I read the news report while I was waiting in line to buy the groceries.” He shifted the bag so he had an arm free and he used it to herd her toward the kitchen.

  Taking over and being in charge, just like she needed. “Thank you,” she whispered as she leaned into his side.

  “We’ll figure this out. Drink first or plan first?”

  “Drink. No, plan. We need to—”

  He dumped the bag on the counter and cut her off with a kiss, his lips soft but demanding. We need this and nothing else. She melted into him and let his mouth play with hers, at first a gentle caress meant to distract. Then as his tongue slicked against hers, the familiar but still exciting rush of heat.